The body keeps the score – Bessel van der Kolk
My little grandgirls love bandaids. For them, putting a colorful bandage over a tiny scrape or cut brings instant relief and they quickly run off to play as the injury is masked, and they forget all about what just happened.
As adults, we experience a myriad of emotions every day. Those that are fine, light, and joyous–think of the love you have for someone dear to you–move around the body effortlessly and freely. One can easily imagine the beautiful colors and shapes that are associated with loving feelings. Our cells light up when we think of those beautiful images.
More problematic are the heavier, darker, and dense emotions that creep in as we try to solve difficulties in relationships with others, address our deepest fears and worries, and work out conflicts. Notice the difference in the words that describe these feelings even as you read about them. The picture of these more difficult emotions is likely sluggish, dark, and very slow moving. Even when we use various methods to lessen the pain, the nagging emotion lies buried deeply inside of us.
There is no separating our thoughts from the proper functioning of our physical bodies. As Esther Hicks reminds us:
“Your body is an absolute mirror of your mind. As you worry, your body shows it. As you love, your body shows it. As you are overwhelmed, your body shows it. As you are angry, your body shows it. Every cell of your body is being allowed or resisted by the way you feel.”. This essentially means that your physical state is a direct reflection of your emotions and thoughts, and by managing your internal state, you can influence your physical well-being. (abraham-hicks.com)
Eventually, when troubling thoughts persist, an illness or discomfort may manifest in the body. Over time, the emotional energy that is not expressed–stuffed down into the body–will emerge as pain or develop into a condition that requires our attention. Many of us have learned to cope by holding in those emotions in order to manage stressful family situations and childhood trauma. The child quickly learns that it is better to silence his/her words instead of expressing them in order to keep the peace. We learn to cope and keep that peace in many ways–striving for perfectionism, pushing through to do more and more, and staying quiet instead of speaking what is true for us. We tell ourselves that the wounds are forgotten–just as my grandgirls do–but our bodies remember.
While all of this may lead to “getting along” in our families, over time our bodies will start to express those feelings for us. Perhaps pain, disease, and unpredictable emotional responses surface as we continue to try to balance the stresses in our lives. We are quick to turn to medications, a change in diet or exercise, or perhaps a new supplement in order to “fix” the symptom. The things we choose for relief as adults may look different as we mature, but they are exactly the same camouflage as the colorful bandaids we used to fix any problem when we were children.
While our efforts may bring a bit of relief, the real issues remain trapped inside of us. Medical intuitives are skilled at finding the root cause of the problem. True and lasting healing resides in that discovery. Recognizing the reason for the many ways we have tried to protect ourselves is the way toward real relief. I use gentle questioning, compassion and presence with my clients as we explore those tender areas together.
Isn’t it time for you to get to the root of the issues that have been with you for so long? Real, lasting healing is always possible when the root cause is uncovered.
